Saturday morning I sat in a Starbucks near our home and looked across the table at my bright and articulate daughter, Rachel. We were on one of our too-rare dates. She was drinking her tall white chocolate mocha latte and I was nursing my venti chai. It was a time to catch up as she rounded the corner and headed for 14 this April.
We covered a lot of ground in our talks this weekend. I learned how teens are creating boy/girl relationships. How "dating" is different from "going out". I learned about the various activities of her friends that she has seen and heard, and am very grateful that she's talking with Terry and me about them.
Time is ticking, though. Our relationship is changing. Terry and I are doing our best to loosen our grip over a planned period while helping her navigate the new territory.
We talked about other things, too.
In fact, as we sat in line waiting for the car wash to open so we could use it, our conversation focused on earning and value and time. Let me explain.
We talked about the vital importance of understanding value and how it works in the world. She began to understand that working hard is not a primary determiner of earning. While doing a job well is essential, the amount of effort you expend isn't of prime importance.
We talked about various vocations and how people are paid. We talked about the reasons for it. I used the word "earn" a lot. It's an important word. I've taken to using it every time I discuss income with my clients. Some people like to use "make", but it's the wrong word. As I've mentioned before, the only people who "make" money are those who work in the mint! It's important for all of us to get that. Our kids, too.
We also talked about time.
Rachel will be 14 soon. As she reminded her mom just recently, she isn't going to be home that much longer.
They were in her room a couple weeks ago, discussing the decor. Terry had just learned from Megan that Rachel didn't like the wallpaper any more.
"Honey," Terry had said, "We can change that. We want you to like your room."
"Oh, it's OK, Mom," Rachel replied.
"I'm only going to be here another four years."
When she relayed it to me later, Terry had tears in her eyes and struggled to hold back a sob. Only four more years.
I often joke with the kids -- as I did with Rachel after this conversation with her mom -- and tell them I've decided that they're not going to get any older. It stops now.
Gabe has taken to saying, "Nice try," when I say stuff like that.
Rachel and I talked about time.
We talked about its nature and the vital importance of understanding it. We talked about using time appropriately, and understanding what's possible and what's not.
And I helped her understand the processes that work to help her become what she dreams of becoming.
These ideas are all very clearly part of the new Time Shaving system (available now for a pre-publication special just for readers of these daily tips, and those to whom you pass it on, by visiting http://stephenhultquist.com/shaving.html and joining). I am shocked at how few people really live life the only way possible once you admit to the characteristics of time. That's why I'm writing the special report. It's time to stop pretending.
Of course, the good news is that if you treat time as it truly is, you will be way ahead of everyone else. The vast majority of people would rather pretend. They live in ways that don't work because of time, but they keep going in the futile hope that it will work.
But it doesn't.
Don't get caught up in that. Keep moving in your chosen direction.
Stephen Sven Hultquist
PS The special report and pre-publication pricing is available on the web site now for you just for reading this e-mail: http://stephenhultquist.com/shaving.html